Moving forward

So, I know I have a punishment coming tonight. Yesterday I confessed to having been using Facebook on my phone whilst driving. Big No. We were both too tired when we got home to do anything about it though. I've been a bit better today but there has been the occasional look at the phone. It's such a ridiculously bad habit.
It's also annoying because I've been doing well recently with regards rules, and the only infractions have been a few incidents of back chatting. I hope that as time goes on and my brain associates back chat with punishment that they will stop.
Also today Wife called and told me the chastity device has arrived. Nervous doesn't even cover it! It was my idea of course, but can't help wondering what I've gotten myself in to.

A long time

It feels like a long time, anyway, since I last updated. And things have changed. We had a small crisis where Wife wasn't feeling like I was actually changing and was worrying that I got more out of being punished than I got out of changing my ways.

So after a lot of thinking and reading I re-drafted our contract. I simplified the rules, and I specified punishments that I really, really don't like.

For starters, all punishments will include corner time. I hate corner time, I find it horrible, humiliating and boring. Then I will be spanked, followed by more corner time and another spanking.

After that, Wife will let me know if there will be any follow up punishments. (It's all delineated in the Contract page).

So, after re-starting with this new agreement, there have been some hiccups, but for the most part we are settling in to it. There are less punishments because there are less transgressions.

Another major change is the introduction of a chastity section. This is something I have been pondering for a while, and have been reading a blog called Male Chastity Journal, which has some wonderful advice.

I have ordered for myself a device from DHGate. It is a cheapish model direct from china. Eventually I would want to move to a custom made one, but to start, this should do fine. Once I work up to being permanently locked, I will of course carry an emergency key, kept in a tube on my keyring and sealed with a numbered tamper proof seal (Thank you ebay). This means if there is any time when I need out for whatever reason and Wife isn't around, I'm still fine. Health and Safety at its best.

Why do I want this? That's the real question I think. There are a variety of reasons. The first being that I am a submissive male and the Power exchange of enforced chastity is a real turn on. I also think that the threat of having orgasms denied to me for longer periods will help keep me in line.

This isn't going to be a "lock it and forget it" situation, as most real experiences show that with no stimulation, men lose all interest in sex. This will be a case where Wife keeps me teased and excited, with various methods including ruined orgasms.

Ah, ruined orgasms. I've read about them, and even watched videos where the sub groans and begs while he is denied the sweet release and the semen simply oozes out, usually accompanied by the wife's evil laughter. But this can't adequately prepare a man for the immense frustration that he feels when he's pushed just far enough over the edge for ejaculation, but not far enough for orgasm. The knowledge that that's all you're going to get, the laughter as you try desperately to force yourself over the edge.

Wife has been practicing you see, ready for when the cage arrives. She's taken to it like a natural as well. What have I let myself in for?

Catching up

I've been a bit lax in updating here. I've had a couple of punishments since my last post, though I also had my first day where I didn't break any rules! Hooray!
Unfortunately yesterday I slipped again, it's always the problem, I drive a lot and the temptation to check my phone while driving never goes away because I get bored. Then once I'd done it once I figured I was already getting punished so I may as well carry on. When I said this to wife she was furious, and I copped extra punishment last night
She hasn't yet used the cable monsters I made but has taken to using a plastic rod from a cat toy as a cane which is agony! Last night she went for my thighs "to spare my bruised bum" and I couldn't keep still which just made it worse. I also started hyperventilating again in the middle and had to get her to stop while I calmed down, which made her cross with me.
Today I have already slipped a couple of times witg regards the phone so I know I'm in for it again. I need to drill it in to my head that doing it equals bad. Hopefully she won't choose to use the loopy things for the first time to hammer that point home

Industriousness

So, I have been industrious. Following on from the last post, wife asked me to find something better than the spoon, and also a way to stop me moving.
So, I did lots of googling, found lots of sites selling stuff, then came across a site selling a loopy johnny made from coaxial cables. A light bulb went off in my head as I often work with coax. Alas, I have no coax at the moment, but did make some prototypes from lengths of mains flex.
I made two different sizes and one double loop, not knowing what size to go for. I had several lengths left over so fashioned a rsther rough flogger.
Of course, wife wanted to try them out straight away so I was bent over the bed wondering what I'd gotten myself in to. Turns out loopy johnnys have a deserved reputation. Just two hits in I was squirming away.
She tried out them all, I think the double was the worst. Think I'm in trouble now.
Also for the not moving, I figured a piece of rope under the bed, attached to wrists and ankles as tight as possible should do the trick

A bad weekend

So the weekend at my parent's really wasn't great. As said previously, my brat came out firing, and rule after rule fell before him.
But worst of all was the final one. I broke rule 15 - no touching myself. I didn't....follow through...as it were, but the violation happened and I had to confess it. No idea what came over me.
We got home last night and as soon as we went to bed I was told to get into position.
I was lectured and beaten for what felt like ages but was probably only 5 minutes. That damned wooden spoon doing its job on my behind. I felt awful, and wife had to hold my legs down to stop them from kicking up and I even at one point involuntarily put my hands back to stop the pain, but this obviously had the opposite effect and the spanking got harder.
At the end I was pretty much hyperventilating and wife held me and made me slow my breathing down. I felt absolutely awful for all I had done over the weekend.
I got another reminder spanking this morning too, again harsher than the previous but we'll deserved. Oddly the spoon doesn't seem to be having as much lasting impact as it did, my behind seems to be dealing with it more, so if wife wants pain that lasts more than a few hours we may need to upgrade to something else...shudder.
Annoyingly I'm still holding on to the guilt of the weekend, and may have to ask wife for a follow up punishment, as it's making me cranky

Bringing out the brat

Slightly late on this post due to busyness. Another punishment on Thursday night for more rule violations - always the same ones. I find using my phone while driving has become a seriously ingrained habit and very difficult to break.
This punishment was once again more severe than the last owing to the repeat nature of the offenses. While laid over receiving it I try to think on the things I've done wrong so my brain will associate them with punishment. When wife begins to lecture me at the same time it really drives home that was I did was wrong.
I get very upset knowing I've upset and disappointed her by breaking the rules we've agreed to.
Next morning was another reminder spanking, this time with the spoon.
Friday wife had to come to work with me as after we were heading up to visit my family for the weekend. She has a habit of correcting my driving and this really brings out the brat in me. At one point I was dancing to the music and took both hands off the wheel for a moment. I was told in no uncertain terms that if I did it again I would pull over and receive a spanking.
This flared my inner brat, who was almost positive she wouldn't do it - note almost - and that brat proceeded to wind her up and back talk the rest of the trip, but not enough to test her resolve on that threat.
This morning, at my parents house, feeling bratty again, I have been back chatting a little, and I'm pretty sure when we get home tomorrow evening I will feel the consequences. I don't know if it's just my brat testing the boundaries or if it wants to prove that she really cares enough to punish me when I'm bad, even away from home.
The psychology of the inner brat is a mystery

So close and yet so far...

So yesterday I thought I'd gotten through the day without breaking a rule. But then I talked to wife about an angry confrontation with an HGV driver who objected to me going the actual speed limit. Because I then reacted with the timeless gesture of raising a particular finger, this constitutes swearing in public.
Aaaaaand then she asked if I'd sent an email I was supposed to send over a week ago and I had to admit that I'd completely forgotten.
So, after the previous night's heavy punishment, while this one was no where near as long, wife managed to hit exactly the same spots as she did before, and had be almost screaming apologies from the get go and the first time I've ever begged for a reprieve - not heeded of course.
A small hand spanking this morning acted as a reminder and reawoke the stings so that I remember to be on my best behaviour today. Let's hope...