Monday, 14 September 2015

A long time

It feels like a long time, anyway, since I last updated. And things have changed. We had a small crisis where Wife wasn't feeling like I was actually changing and was worrying that I got more out of being punished than I got out of changing my ways.
So after a lot of thinking and reading I re-drafted our contract. I simplified the rules, and I specified punishments that I really, really don't like.
For starters, all punishments will include corner time. I hate corner time, I find it horrible, humiliating and boring. Then I will be spanked, followed by more corner time and another spanking.
After that, Wife will let me know if there will be any follow up punishments. (It's all delineated in the Contract page).
So, after re-starting with this new agreement, there have been some hiccups, but for the most part we are settling in to it. There are less punishments because there are less transgressions.

Another major change is the introduction of a chastity section. This is something I have been pondering for a while, and have been reading a blog called Male Chastity Journal, which has some wonderful advice.
I have ordered for myself a device from DHGate. It is a cheapish model direct from china. Eventually I would want to move to a custom made one, but to start, this should do fine. Once I work up to being permanently locked, I will of course carry an emergency key, kept in a tube on my keyring and sealed with a numbered tamper proof seal (Thank you ebay). This means if there is any time when I need out for whatever reason and Wife isn't around, I'm still fine. Health and Safety at its best.

Why do I want this? That's the real question I think. There are a variety of reasons. The first being that I am a submissive male and the Power exchange of enforced chastity is a real turn on. I also think that the threat of having orgasms denied to me for longer periods will help keep me in line.
This isn't going to be a "lock it and forget it" situation, as most real experiences show that with no stimulation, men lose all interest in sex. This will be a case where Wife keeps me teased and excited, with various methods including ruined orgasms.
Ah, ruined orgasms. I've read about them, and even watched videos where the sub groans and begs while he is denied the sweet release and the semen simply oozes out, usually accompanied by the wife's evil laughter. But this can't adequately prepare a man for the immense frustration that he feels when he's pushed just far enough over the edge for ejaculation, but not far enough for orgasm. The knowledge that that's all you're going to get, the laughter as you try desperately to force yourself over the edge.
Wife has been practicing you see, ready for when the cage arrives. She's taken to it like a natural as well. What have I let myself in for?

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